WHETHER you own a Mercedes or a Mazda, when you get behind the wheel of said vehicle, you become “King of the Road”. But beware. Every vehicle in front of and behind you also has a king of the road at the helm. I know from decades of driving experience that we can take that role too literally at times and too far.

I have always loved cars and enjoy driving. Ever since I sat on my dad’s lap and turned the steering wheel of the family’s VW Kombi, I found maneuvering a moving projectile a fascinating experience. Sadly, around the world, and to a great extent in good old South Africa, that moving projectile does become a deadly weapon.

Exhaustion, pent-up frustration and a bad mood can involve you in a dreaded incident known as “road rage”. It has become a common happening. In recent months social media has been replete with videos of road rage in action. It is frightening to see mature people resort to near barbarism because of an incident while driving.

Sally Davies, a clinical psychologist, explains: “Road rage occurs when people who are already vulnerable to aggressive outbursts are led to express their rage and - more critically - direct it towards total strangers. Such incidents are on the increase along with traffic congestion and differing levels of frustration.”

Davies elaborates: “From behind the wheel, it is so easy to personalise relationships on the road. We find ourselves in a position of power and safety, free to insult other drivers verbally, make moves that restrict or obstruct them, make aggressive gestures with hands, flash our lights, sound our horns, or otherwise act out fantasies of being 'in charge' - as if we had been appointed Road Monitor! Yes, technically, I understand that rationale, but let’s break that down to layman’s terms.

Uncle Harry woke up with a black mood and he is going to be late for work. His wife is not ready with his lunch when he is ready to leave to work. He utters a few choice words and storms out saying he will buy something for lunch. He gets into his “chariot” and our local “king of the road” begins his journey.

As he motors on, he plays the regular “dodge-em” game with fellow motorists. All is fine until the ubiquitous minibus taxi makes an unwelcome appearance and starts to tailgate him. His natural reaction is to apply brakes and drive slower. Obviously, this aggravates the minibus driver, who is perpetually in a hurry to complete more loads.

So, he overtakes Uncle Harry and forces him to pull off the road. Uncle Harry, already in a hurry, is not impressed. We will halt this scenario right there. The ending of this is anyone’s guess and usually it’s not a makeup and forgive conclusion. Testosterone levels are peaking and machismo rules the moment.

This and slightly different variants of such encounters are daily occurrences on our roads. South Africa’s Arrive Alive campaign spokesperson, advocate Johan Jonck, says “aggression, along with depression, is one of the most common mental disorders suffered by modern man. We are quite an angry nation, and the turmoil in politics and our daily lives don’t help to keep the frustration levels at lower levels.”

The above minibus taxi incident, up to a point, was my personal experience. Let me add that I had done nothing wrong and had broken no driving edicts. The driver was aggrieved that I did not succumb to his overtures to allow him to cut in front of me.

Hey mister taxi man, I am also going someplace. I am not just going out joyriding hoping to meet up with you.

So, he forcefully pushes me to the side of the road and blocks my escape route with his vehicle. I had to comply or I would have had my car’s bodywork redesigned without giving consent. The next five minutes were dramatic. He alighted from his taxi via the sliding passenger door trying to intimidate me with an aggressive look. Totally unnecessary, because what he held in his hand did the job perfectly.

I was suitably intimidated as he brandished a panga or bush knife or some wicked-looking family heirloom. This was no time for heroics or ego-trips as my wife was in my car too. So I did the best thing I could and I suggest you do too if in a similar situation. I apologised profusely as if it had been my fault. There was no other option left to me.

I lived to tell this tale.

Motoring experts say that ignoring bad driving from another driver can stop the situation from escalating.

"Instead, give someone a chance to slip in, in gridlocked traffic. Thank others when they let you in. Apologise if you accidentally anger another driver. Do not underestimate the positive effect of being courteous and forgiving on the road, for you and them.”

Psychologists describe road rage as a clear lose-lose situation, where keeping your emotions under control for just 10 seconds could prevent much anguish down the line.

Here is putting all the above in a nutshell for easy digestion: conflict can only continue to exist with participation. Road rage is dangerous. Keep your ego in check. Do not even start your vehicle until you are suitably calm. Do not provoke fellow drivers. Be calm… Drive safely.. Arrive Alive!