AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW CAN YOU BRING THE MAGIC BACK HOME? GQ’S SEX EXPERT INVESTIGATES.

Ask a Sex Coach is a column where Sydney-based sex coach Georgia Grace answers those questions you wish you knew the answer to. Got a sex-related question you’d prefer to ask anon?

Q: My partner and I recently booked a weekend away and had the best sex we’ve had all year. But the magic faded away almost as soon as we got home and returned to our routines. I’m wondering, why is sex always better when we’re away? And considering it's hard to travel right now, is it possible to somehow recreate that home?

Georgia Grace: You and most people, my friend. No, seriously – I asked the question on Instagram recently, and the people agree with you – a resounding 87 percent% said holiday sex is better and 93 percent% said they are hornier while away. But why is being on holiday conducive to such great sex?

Well, a holiday offers you what your regular life doesn’t: you're relaxed, you have all the time in the world, and you have the opportunity to reacquaint yourself with your mind, your body and an adventurous spark that is typically buried under to-do lists.

But that doesn’t necessarily explain why the qualitative difference between home and away sex feels so stark. Here, I take a look at the factors that contribute to this puzzling phenomenon, and suggest a few ways to recreate the vacay feels at home.

Stress hampers sex

If you’ve read any of my ‘Ask A Sex Coach’ column’s before, you’ll know I talk a lot about the way stress kills sex drive. A holiday, however, is the perfect remedy for overwhelm; you’re away from the stress of work and life and you can finally chill TF out.

With your out-of-office autoreply on and your worries miles away, your body is flooded with dopamine and oxytocin – two feel-good hormones often referred to as love and cuddle hormones. If you’re travelling with a romantic partner (or you just met one at the pool), the feeling you get from this hormone release will, ideally, be mutual. The more relaxed you are, the more relaxed your partner will feel, and this can allow you to be more in tune and present with each other – two very important prerequisites for feeling desire and pleasure.

With this extra space to be emotionally, physically and sexually present, your holiday might even start to feel like an extended period of foreplay. Sound familiar?

How to recreate it at home: You’ll need to create the context for relaxation. Plan a staycation at home, don’t make too many plans, switch your phones to airplane mode and do what you can to limit the number of external distractions that come with being at home. Remember, it’s all about creating a relaxed state.

All the time in the world

Time after time, I hear from my clients say that sex is the furthest thing from their mind after long day at work, daily chores and other life admin. And no wonder. When your body is beyond exhausted it probably doesn’t have the energy to touch or be touched.

But when you’re on holiday, you’re totally removed from the chaos of your day-to-day. Sleep in? Sure. Midday sex? Absolutely! It can feel really liberating to do away with your routine, and with all this spare time and only pleasures to fill it with, well, sex shifts back to the front of your mind.

Time also plays into your ‘Core Erotic Theme’, which is a concept developed by sexologist Jack Morin. According to his findings, we all have unique ‘themes’ that influence our sexual and intimate life. Morin found that some of the most positive, memorable sexual experiences are influenced by the theme of time. Either an abundance of it (aka you have all day) or a restriction of it (aka a quickie in the restaurant bathroom). When it comes to good sex, time is of the essence.

How to recreate it at home: Ditch the routine. Set aside a weekend without alarms, errands or appointments, and notice how your body responds to the borrowed time.

A change of scenery is sexy

Time and time again, I hear clients say that their most memorable or exciting sexual experiences were when they were engaging in new behaviour. This might involve a new lover, a new sexual experiment or simply a new setting.

When you're on holiday, everything's new. Your bed is different; the activities you do with your partner are different; you might even begin to view your partner in new and exciting ways. You feel completely different, and have the time and mental space to tap into that part of your eroticism that craves newness.

How to recreate it at home: Explore a new environment together. Go somewhere new for lunch, try a random activity or simply migrate to a different room in your house. Even the smallest sprinkling of newness can inspire desire.

You’re feeling adventurous

Just like being away is the perfect time to test out a new activity or food, it’s also the ideal opportunity for you and your partner to try that fantasy, position or something a little kinky you’ve been curious about.

There are also plenty of games and sensual adventures designed specifically for the purpose of encouraging a little exploration in bed. Sydney's Paramount House Hotel, for example, sells a cheeky little box called ‘The Lover’s Kit’, which is curated with just the right amount of intrigue, play, and pleasure to bring a sense of adventure to an intimate evening. You don’t need to be a hotel guest to try it out – the kit is also available for purchase online.

How to recreate it at home: While COVID restrictions mean adventure-seeking is still a little limited, simply investing in a new toy or booking a staycation in your own city can help to bring adventure back to bed.

Team bonding

When you go somewhere with your partner, there’s a certain amount of teamwork required to get from point A to point B – sometimes that’s just navigating a map or finding a cool restaurant. But in addition to bringing you closer, working together in a new environment allows us to admire one another’s skills and strengths, especially those we mightn’t notice in the at-home setting.

It’s also a reminder that we’ve got each other’s backs. And of course, the closer you feel, the better the sex.

How to recreate it at home: Anything that involves planning is great. If you can’t go very far, putting together a picnic and dividing up tasks can be a great way to remind each other how good it feels to be on a team.

This originally appeared on GQ Australia | Georgia Grace